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 Opting Out of Real Life By Michelle Lewis
Since she quit high school, jobs rapidly slip through her slim, dexterous fingers, and she often naps during the day. Previous employers cite unreliability, depression, and attitude problems. Her family wearily deals with her nocturnal hours, lack of household contribution, dishonesty, and general instability. A Growing Problem My sister's story represents those of a growing number of high school and college students who live in an online world of their own creation. Cassie and other Internet-addicted teens withdraw mentally, emotionally, and even physically, losing themselves in cyberspace while losing their family and friends in the process. Cassie and I had been close since we were kids, but her erratic and hurtful behavior made her impossible to live with. Internet addiction disorder, or IAD, like other addiction disorders, usually hits family and friends the hardest. Addicts' online world takes precedence over the real world, alienating everyone around them. My sister preferred her online activities and chat buddies to spending time with me and her other true friends. More than 11 percent of teens suffer from IAD, according to a study presented at the American Psychiatric Association. Seventy-five percent of Internet addicts also suffer from relationship problems, including Cassie. Defining Internet Addiction Disorder The Center for Online and Internet Addiction defines IAD as, "any online-related, compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones, and one's work environment." Sound Familiar? IAD shares many similarities with substance abuse. Virtual-addiction.com describes the pattern of Internet addiction: "The pattern of addiction is caused by a complex interaction of the removal of discomfort, relief of stress, and the increase of pleasure. The pleasurable experiences are repeated despite the negative consequences. Often there is the experience of guilt and shame after engaging in the addictive behavior (Internet use); this shame and guilt can serve as a trigger for further abuse of the Internet as a means to cope with the discomfort hence producing a repetitive Internet abuse cycle." The signs and symptoms of IAD are nearly identical to those of drug and alcohol addiction. Is your friend forgetting homework, missing evening or weekend activities to stay online, skipping work or school, or avoiding family and friends? These behaviors all signal a problem. The center notes, "It is not the actual time spent online that determines if you have a problem, but rather how that time you spend impacts your life." Other symptoms of IAD include: 1. Compulsive use of the Internet. 2. Preoccupation with being online (thinking about previous onlne activity or anticipating the next online session.) 3. Lying or hiding the extent or nature of online behavior. 4. Inability to control or curb online behavior, including moodiness, depression, and irritability when attempting to cut down or stop Internet use. Breaking the Cycle So what can you do for a friend lost in cyberspace? Start talking to them. Cassie didn't believe she had any friends off-line. She struggled with depression and used the Internet as a mood booster, as many addicts do. Akin to nicotine cravings, Internet addicts need their computer fix—or they become snappy and irritable. But the knowledge that someone cared enough to patiently break down her social barriers helped Cassie to begin addressing the emotional problems at the heart of her addiction. Next, encourage your friend to get involved in an off-line hobby, something that requires interaction with other people. Ask your friend to join an athletic team or school club with you. Grab some friends and go bowling or skating. Help them build healthy relationships and establish activities outside the online world. As with overcoming alcohol and tobacco abuse, your friend will need support from trusted friends and adults. Unlike drugs and alcohol, it may not be something they can quit "cold turkey"—the Internet is useful and sometimes necessary for school and work. For any other online activities, such as games and chatting, offer to help your friend set up a strict accountability schedule. You could offer to call your friend to keep him or her accountable at night, on the weekend, or at another time when they are most likely to abuse the Internet. In Cassie's situation, her parents took away the laptop and shut off their Internet access at night to help limit her usage. Another good suggestion is to place the computer in a family room, den, or other high-traffic area for supervision and accountability. Urge your friend to talk with their parents, a school counselor, or a psychologist familiar with IAD and work out a personal schedule and guidelines for online activities. In this way, rather than a destructive escape—a cyber reality pulling your friend away from healthy relationships and the real world—when used appropriately and in moderation, the Internet can become the helpful tool it was meant to be. *Name has been changed. ______________________________ Michelle Lewis writes from southwest Michigan. Email Michelle. Reprinted with permission. Listen Magazine, Dec. 2006, p. 22-23. All rights reserved © 2010 AnswersForMe.org. Click here for content usage information. |
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