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 Mixed-Age Marriages By Clarissa Worley Sproul
So is it good to marry grandpa? (As one of my somewhat irreverent colleagues would say.) Or should one stick close to that old rule of thumb that totes success rates as hovering within a three year span? What a wonderful question indeed. Now let me tell you a story. I met a girl I’ll call Susie at a retreat a good five or six years ago. I was speakering (as my neighbor calls it) to a wonderful crowd of women and eating really good food when our paths crossed. I’d given a talk on personal destiny and there she was, sitting in the back of the room crying into a roll of toilet paper. In between sobs I asked her what was wrong. She just wanted to be married. She was (believe me, this next part was a huge shock) fifty and just wanted to be married. Well, whenever I meet someone who longs for something as many years as she had and can’t seem to find it, I know there’s a good reason, so we talked. To make a long story short, Susie had lost her dad as a kid and the subsequent struggle of she, her mother and her three sisters had left scars that had kept her from the most ardent of pursuers. There were reasons for her celibacy, and with that came the freedom to eradicate those reasons and make new choices. Susie wouldn’t be single forever. And so it was that a chunk of time later it happened. I got an invitation in the mail and it had Susie’s name on the front. She was getting married! Finally! It was really happening! I had to pause, cut loose and dance for joy. Yipppppeeeeeeeee! There was the location, there was the date, this was really on! For all the prayers we’d prayed, I couldn’t help but scream. The fun part of this story (for the readers of this article anyway) came after the wedding, which I was unable to attend. Arriving at an event one morning, I thought I recognized a woman who came rushing towards me. And yes, there was Susie, glowing and frilly and giddy as any bride should be. After saying hello, she turned to her husband of a few months, and introduced an equally beaming man who… wow... had to be in his late twenties! I never found out his age, it not being my business and all, but this story has stayed with me. Never one to promote the young marrying the not-so-young for all the right reasons (mixed maturity, perspective, and brain development to name a few) I learned from Susie that while looking on the outward appearance has it’s perks, one cannot get hung up on those stats. It is, after all, the underneaths of us that come together once the marriage license is signed and the address change, name change and possible furniture change has occurred. Pondering since then, I have also been reminded of what God said over and over in the Bible. He looks at our hearts, while we keep on looking on the outward. Although God doesn’t script in there that age is a part of the outward, I think it’s safe to say that he’d include it if we asked. It seems to me then that the really important should-I-marry questions must be all about the heart and soul of a person—down there beneath the wrinkles or muscles. Does this person get me? Do we share similar passions and destinies? Does it seem God ushered this person into my life? Do I sense a peace in our friendship? And ask them knowing full well that in an imperfect and wobbly world a resounding yes for our hearts might not mean a yes for our extremities. Better yet, ask yourself if God were looking to marry (hypothetically speaking) what would he factor in? We know he always looks and can see our hearts—all that deep stuff on the inside—so it’s probably a no-brainer. One thing is certain though, I’m sure he’d marry well. First because he can see right past all the stuff we get hung up on and read the soul, and second because he always does. So then would he be hesitant if he was somewhat older? Probably not. Visit Life Notes ______________________________ Clarissa Worley Sproul writes from the Pacific Northwest. All rights reserved © 2010 AnswersForMe.org. Click here for content usage information. Add your comment. |
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